Why there’s a thing called life if all of us will die anyway in the end? Other are fighting for the luxury life that they wanted, while others are just surviving each day for just a couple of dollars. Others are competing with each other just to be on top, while others are simply contented with what they have.
Before I took college, I look forward on having a medical degree, but hings happen and I ended up taking Culinary Arts. I have a good study background knowing i’d been on a Special Science Class on High School, that’s why everyone asked me “What happen?”. Until now, my answer is “I don’t know”. Years passed until I graduated and gladly I still proved my capabilities. I graduated with an honor of Magna Cum Laude with GPA of 1.47 and beating almost 150 students on the same field.
I’m not physically fit unlike those men who’s working in a kitchen and I’m just a mere 5’1 in height and 46 kg in weight. So upon entering the field that I had chosen, there’s a side of me shouting “Danger!”. I cried a lot, I collapsed two times, I go home late and wake up early, I don’t have fixed day off, I’m working with men, and in the end my health deteriorate. I forgot to take care of myself.
Until one day I ask myself, Is it worth it? The sacrifices I’m making today that already compromise my health? Am I really happy? Or I’m just forcing myself to be happy? Am I really living for myself or from others expectation? Is it too early quit? Is this the journey that I need to pursue or there’s something else way better than this?
What’s my purpose? Why am I living?
I remember someone said to me that there’s a simple way for me to survive from this world. Marry someone and stop working. From that moment, I really wanted to run away from everyone. Life isn’t about being in your comfort zone. Yes, he’s right because later on I also need to settle down but when I say later on, it doesn’t mean now, nor later. I have a long way to go and I’ll make sure that that long way will be plenty with stories. Stories that I can tell to my children.
Now, I still haven’t know what’s my purpose. But soon I’ll surely find my answer. I’ll find it on my own and making myself grow at the same time. I will not let anyone dictates on what I wanted to do, I’ll be on my own. Today onward, it will be only me and my journal. I’ll write my stories until I finish the last page of it. I’ll find the answers along the way and soon I’ll inspire my future children to chase their own purpose why God give them chance to live.
My quest to find answers starts now.
