When I was in high school, I used to have a big group of friends. Since most of us shared similar interests and personalities, we naturally connected. Let’s just say—we all had that carefree, kid-like mindset. Sure, there were occasional misunderstandings, but nothing too deep or serious. During that time, I had a lot of fun. It was actually the first time I experienced having a large circle of friends. Before that, I only had a few close ones—four at most—including my sister.

As we spent those four years together, building memories, life eventually led us down separate paths. Over time, the number of people I stayed in close contact with started to shrink. Though I still consider them all friends, the ones I remain really close with have become fewer.

Working overseas also played a big role in this. Since I only go home once every two years, I only get to see a handful of them. Our connection now mostly lives through social media—but not everyone has the time to keep in touch or check in. Life happens—we’re all busy with work, personal responsibilities, and relationships. That’s just how it goes.

When it comes to relationships—whether friendships or otherwise—I keep it simple: I value genuineness and real connections.

I don’t feel bad about the distance or the changes. I understand now that not everyone we meet in life is meant to stay forever. We all have our own journeys to follow, and I respect that. Still, I’m proud of every friend I’ve made—whether from home, school, or work. Each one taught me something different.

At 26, I only have a small circle of people I still talk to regularly—and that’s more than enough. I’ve watched so many of them grow, and I know I’ve grown too. Even though we’re no longer kids, the memories we made still live in my heart.

Right now, I’m more focused on my personal goals. I’ve come to realize that at some point, we all need to learn how to stand on our own. Yes, friends can support us, but many of life’s challenges are ones we must face ourselves.

There are a few lines I often tell myself in these quiet moments of independence:

“At this moment, I need to be on my own.”
“Now, I need to be strong enough to handle things alone.”
“Life will be challenging, so I need to focus on the positive things.”

And I hold onto those words as reminders to stay grounded, grateful, and strong.

“In order to be open to creativity, one must have the capacity for constructive use of solitude. One must overcome the fear of being alone.”
— Rollo May, Man’s Search for Himself (1953)

The journey I’ve walked has led me to stand on my own. I’ve learned to accept that some paths must be travelled alone, and in doing so, I’ve realized the strength that solitude can bring. This moment in my life is critical—what I do today will surely shape the kind of future I’m building.

The people who came into my life—both those from the past and those still with me now—have already played a meaningful role. With that in mind, I chose to walk forward alone, not because I don’t value connection, but because I’ve grown more intentional with the energy, I allow around me.

From being someone who was outgoing and surrounded by many, I’ve become someone more inward—an introvert who now chooses focus, peace, and purpose. I’ve noticed that as my career and self-awareness evolved, I’ve become more guarded. I open up to people only if I sense authenticity, growth, and a healthy dynamic. For me, friendship is no longer about quantity, but quality. A real friendship, to me, means there’s no jealousy, no insecurity, no hidden motives. I’ve experienced the opposite before—and I refuse to return to that space.

“A good rule of thumb is that any environment that consistently leaves you feeling bad about who you are is the wrong environment.”
— Laurie Helgoe, Introvert Power (2008)

With all the changes that have shaped me, I understand now why some people misread me. I’ve heard comments like “snob,” “too serious,” or “hard to approach.” In the past, I used to get hurt or try to explain myself. But with time, I’ve come to realize that I don’t owe everyone an explanation—especially when I know my truth.

People will always have something to say. That’s beyond my control. So instead of spending my energy trying to fix how others perceive me, I choose to redirect that energy toward becoming better—for myself and for the life I’m creating.

1. Few Friends Is More Than Enough

“Trust us when we say—few is more than enough.”

Working overseas, I’ve come to realize that having just a few real friends is more than enough to keep me grounded and fulfilled. At the moment, I have only two close friends I regularly connect with—one is my cousin, whom I see every other month, and the other is a colleague who shares the same mindset of growth and self-love. Apart from my partner, these two are the people who truly hold space in my heart.

The rest? They’re mostly colleagues—acquaintances I’m polite with but don’t necessarily confide in. And that’s okay. I’ve grown to be completely content with having a small circle. What matters more to me is the quality of the relationship. Our conversations are thoughtful, intentional, and inspiring. They feel like heart-to-heart talks with a sister. It’s in those safe, grounded exchanges where I feel most seen and supported.

People often assume I’m a loner. What they don’t know is that I just prefer the company of a few meaningful connections over being surrounded by many. For me, a strong relationship begins with a genuine conversation. If I sense negativity or judgment at the start, I take it as a sign to protect my peace and draw boundaries early on.

“Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.”

The people we surround ourselves with have a powerful influence on our lives. That’s why I’m careful with who I allow into mine. I’d rather sit with two people who uplift me than with ten who leave me drained. I’ve experienced toxic environments before, and all it left me with were bad habits and emotional baggage. Big friend groups can be beautiful, but true connection within them is rare. Not everyone outgrows jealousy, immaturity, or the need to compete.

For me, friendship is defined by a few core values:

• A true friend wants the best for you.

• A true friend uplifts—never belittles.

• A true friend never influences you to go against your values.

• A true friend helps you reach your goals—not hold you back.

• A true friend listens before offering advice, and never speaks with bias.

• A true friend avoids gossip and negative talk.

• A true friend respects your boundaries and privacy.

• A true friend stays—not only in good times but also when life gets hard.

• A true friend never changes how they treat you, even when you’re miles apart.

• A true friend is genuinely happy for your success.

So to those who assume we’re lonely just because we keep our circle small—you’re mistaken. We’re simply protecting our energy and surrounding ourselves with people who see and value us. Because the truth is, at the end of the day, we are our own responsibility. The people who once stood beside us will eventually walk their own paths too.

Rather than measure your worth by how many people surround you, ask yourself instead:
Are my memories meaningful? Did I grow from my experiences? Did I love myself enough to let go of what no longer serves me?

That’s what truly matters.

2. Being Alone Means More Time for Ourselves

“People empty me. I have to get away to refill.”
— Charles Bukowski

One of the most common misconceptions about people who don’t have a large social circle is that they’re missing out. To many, we’re seen as living a “boring” life—lacking fun, excitement, or even adventure. But that perception usually stems from comparing how we live our lives to how they define enjoyment.

For introverts like me, joy doesn’t always come from group hangouts or constant social activity. We, too, find fulfillment—but in a different rhythm, a quieter kind of contentment that often thrives in solitude.

When I’m alone, it doesn’t mean I’m doing nothing. In fact, it’s often when I’m at my most productive and fulfilled. That’s the space where I reconnect with myself. It’s when I do things I genuinely enjoy—not because it’s trendy or social-media-worthy, but because it nurtures me.

Here’s a glimpse of what a day in solitude might look like for me:

• A morning workout routine to reenergize

• Praying the Holy Rosary for peace and guidance

• Enrolling in online training to fuel my personal growth

• Journaling thoughts and realizations

• Enjoying a quiet cup of coffee while reading

• Planning new goals or reflecting on what I’ve accomplished

These moments, though small and seemingly uneventful to others, fill me with purpose. They allow me to pour into myself so that I can show up better in every other area of my life.

To someone on the outside, this might seem uneventful. But for those of us who value stillness, this is where we feel most alive. It’s not about missing out—it’s about choosing a different kind of fulfillment.

So, no—our life is not boring. It’s rich, intentional, and deeply personal. We’re not avoiding people; we’re simply choosing to spend our energy where it matters most. Solitude isn’t a void—it’s space to grow, to dream, to rest.

Let them call it boring.
We’ll call it peace.

3. We Avoid People Who Drain Our Energy

“Your energy is currency. Spend it well. Invest it wisely.”

As introverts, one of our core values is quality over quantity—especially when it comes to the people we surround ourselves with. It’s not that we dislike others or don’t want to connect. In fact, we truly value connection—but only when it feels genuine, uplifting, and mutual.

We don’t instantly cut people off. In most cases, we give second chances. We try to understand and empathize. But when someone repeatedly brings negativity into our space, we start to pull away—not out of malice, but out of self-preservation. Time is precious, and for people like us, our energy is even more so.

We only get 24 hours each day—and we want to spend them doing things that truly matter. That includes building meaningful connections with people who inspire us, uplift us, and walk alongside us on our path to growth.

I’m naturally drawn to individuals who reflect the values I live by. Those who are positive, goal-driven, curious, and genuinely kind. Over the years, I’ve learned how rare it is to meet people with a mindset that aligns with yours—but when you do, you instantly feel the connection.

Here are a few qualities I admire in people I choose to keep close:

• They start their day with a positive attitude

• They listen deeply, not just to respond

• They don’t dwell in complaints—they seek solutions

• They enjoy talking about goals, finances, and self-growth

• They use their time productively and intentionally

• They maintain a healthy balance between work and life

• They set goals and work consistently towards them

• They’re always learning, always evolving

• They practice positive self-talk and encourage others to do the same

Of course, we all have different preferences—but if you’re serious about your personal growth, surrounding yourself with the right people is key. The right friends will push you forward, help you level up, and celebrate your wins as if they’re their own.

So don’t be afraid to set boundaries. Don’t feel guilty for stepping away from people who don’t align with the life you’re trying to build.

Right Environment + Right Mindset = A Happy Life.

That’s a truth I’ll always stand by.

4. We Can Still Be Friendly—Just in Our Own Way

“Introverts treasure the close relationships they have stretched so much to make.” – Adam S. McHugh

Yes—we can be friendly too.

Just because we’re not always the first to speak or the loudest in the room doesn’t mean we don’t want to connect. In fact, if you start a conversation with us—especially one rooted in positivity—we’ll gladly join in. You might even be surprised by the ideas, perspectives, and genuine thoughts we’re excited to share.

We can be your colleague, your peer, even your roommate. We’re not anti-social—we simply need a balance. As long as we’re given enough alone time to recharge, we’re perfectly happy engaging with others.

In fact, we’re great listeners. But here’s the thing—we’re selective. If conversations feel negative, intrusive, or energy-draining, we’ll start pulling away. It’s not meant to offend—it’s a quiet boundary, a way of protecting our peace.

Not all introverts are the same. Some are naturally more reserved and may appear withdrawn or preoccupied. But don’t misread silence as coldness. Many of us are simply waiting for the right moment—or the right person—to feel safe opening up.

Unfortunately, introverts are often misunderstood. We’re sometimes labeled as snobbish, rude, or unfriendly. But that’s far from the truth. In reality, we simply value depth over small talk, and we open up at our own pace. The best way to reach an introvert? Try.

Here are a few tips if you’d like to get to know someone who seems quiet or hard to reach:

• Say hello—sometimes a simple greeting goes a long way

• Start a light, positive conversation

• Be mindful of timing; check if they’re open to talk

• Offer help or be proactive with small acts of kindness

• Approach them in a private or quieter setting

• Respect their space and privacy—avoid overly personal questions

• Let them open up naturally, without pressure

• Accept their communication style—it may differ from yours, and that’s okay

The takeaway? Introverts can be great friends—we just connect differently. With a little effort and understanding, you might discover someone with a deeply thoughtful heart, loyal friendship, and quiet strength.

Because once an introvert lets you in, you’re in for good.

5. We Tend to Focus More on Our Inner World Than the External One

“It’s not that we don’t care. We just focus on what truly matters.”

Introverts are often labeled as distant or indifferent—but that’s far from the truth. We’re not detached, we’re just selective with our energy. We focus more on our inner growth than seeking external validation or noise.

For me, whenever something affects me negatively, my instinct is to retreat and re-center myself. Instead of getting caught in conflict or drama, I’ll pour my energy into more mindful routines—like a home workout, writing in my journal, or watching a feel-good movie. These activities help me shift away from negativity and protect my peace.

One important truth I’ve learned—especially working overseas—is this:

You can’t always rely on others. Sometimes, you have to be your own strength.

This is why I value solitude. In solitude, I invest in myself. I focus on growth. I develop emotional resilience. I chase peace. If I had to choose between a toxic conversation and a 30-minute workout, I’d always choose the latter. That’s not isolation—it’s intentional self-care.

We all have different ways of caring for ourselves, but if you’re looking to nurture your inner world, here are some activities that have helped me—and might help you too:

• Spend time in nature (even just a short walk can work wonders)

• Watch a feel-good movie that makes you laugh

• Try meditation or breathwork

• Disconnect from social media for a while

• Practice yoga or light stretching

• Start a self-love habit—affirmations, skincare, anything meaningful

• Keep a journal to reflect, dream, or vent

• Learn to live in the present moment—let go of “what ifs”

• Cut off negative self-talk as soon as it starts

• Don’t pressure yourself to always be “on” or perfect

In the end, it’s not about shutting the world out—it’s about checking in with yourself first. True peace comes from within, and sometimes, we find it in the quiet moments we spend alone.

6. Not All Introverts Are Quiet

“We don’t hate people—we just avoid needless conversation.”

It’s a common misconception that all introverts are quiet or shy. While we may seem reserved at first glance, that doesn’t mean we’re not capable of deep, meaningful, and even lively conversations. The truth is, many introverts are talkative—with the right people.

We often stay quiet in unfamiliar spaces, not because we dislike others, but because we’re cautious with our energy and trust. Getting to know someone takes time, and so does building the comfort that allows us to open up. This isn’t unique to introverts—everyone takes time to adjust. But for us, that process tends to be more intentional.

In my case, when I feel I can’t express something out loud, I turn to my journal. It becomes a safe space where my thoughts flow freely.

We have a lot to say, but we’re also deeply aware of our audience. If we sense that someone isn’t really listening or might misinterpret what we say, we’ll likely keep our thoughts to ourselves. But if we feel safe, understood, and respected—we’ll talk for hours. We become expressive, animated, and even funny. It all depends on the space we’re in and the energy around us.

It’s also important to understand that quietness is not rudeness. Just because someone isn’t actively chatting doesn’t mean they’re unfriendly or uninterested. For many introverts, stillness is just another way to be present. We might not always express joy loudly, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t feeling it deeply inside.

So if you see someone who tends to stay in the background or seems hard to approach, don’t assume they’re standoffish. They might just be an introvert waiting for the right moment—or the right person—to open up to.

All we ask is a little patience, a bit of kindness, and the understanding that introverts aren’t always quiet—we’re just selectively vocal.

Recap

Judgment is everywhere. Every single day, we hear people talking about others—sometimes out of admiration, but often from a place of misunderstanding or assumption. While positive comments can uplift, negative ones have the power to isolate, especially for introverts who are often misjudged based on their quiet nature.

This blog was written from the lens of someone who understands the introvert experience firsthand. It’s a gentle reminder that being quiet doesn’t mean being rude, shy, snobbish, or lacking in confidence. Not all introverts are the same, but many of the common labels attached to them are far from the truth.

At the heart of it, what introverts seek is genuine connection, respect for boundaries, and understanding. They value quality over quantity, and solitude over superficial interaction—not because they dislike people, but because they protect their peace.

So, instead of letting assumptions guide how we see others, let’s choose empathy. Let’s respect each person for who they are and embrace the differences that make us unique.

After all, understanding begins where judgment ends. 🌿