Everyone of us for sure experienced these kind of memories wherein whenever we reminisce it, there’s a sudden feelings that comes out like it only happened just yesterday. We’re like bound to it that even that situation made us sad, we can’t help but to keep it in our lives wherever we’ll be.
Life will never be perfect, and ups and downs will always be there. Whether what status someone is in, challenges will always be there present in their life. Now it just differs on how that person change that situation into their own inspiration.
For me, I had numerous memories that became a turning points of my life. It became a start of something bigger that until now I see it as my foundation on what I am now. Some of these memories are painful ones, and I think that God made me experienced all of those for me to learned everything in hard way.
“Nothing is ever really lost to us as long as we remember it.”
― L.M. Montgomery, The Story Girl
So let’s move on to the things that made a big impact in my life.
That happened way back 2014 when me and my sister planned to have our vacation in Ilocos Norte. I remember my Mom told us that since we don’t have enough money that time, they would allow us if we can save money as our vacation allowance.
Right then, me and my sister tried our best to save more. Since I’m just budgeting my school allowance that time, what I just do is to packed my lunch so that I can save 90 PHP everyday. That day I remember that I woke up late since I reviewed that night and I wasn’t able to ready my meal. So that day I just decided to took our leftover from last night. Once we had our lunch break, I just found out that there’s a foul smell on it already. Since I was with my friends and I feel shy to tell that my food is somehow smell spoiled already, I just ended up eating the rice that was mixed with it. I hurriedly finished it and closed my lunchbox right away for them not to notice anything.
Thinking about it right now, I feel somehow pitiful to experienced it but I never imagined that I can do it just for the sake of saving! Gladly I didn’t experienced having an upset stomach after experiencing that! Kidding aside, after that situation I became more cautious in my spending habits. I also realized that my parents didn’t spoiled us and made us work for whatever we wanted.
Here’s our pictures taken on that vacation.
2. When I had my first on the job training in Balesin Island and I’m the only one who can’t connect in the internet since my mobile is kinda old already.
This memory really made me feel embarrass even until now. I just feel so pitiful that time and I can’t even demand anything because I know our current situation.
What I always do is to just stay in our accommodation and write in my journal (while crying silently),or I just usually borrow their gadgets so I can communicate with my family. I badly wanted to take a lot of pictures and send it to my family but all I can do is to wait until I can borrow their gadgets.
Gladly my friends I came to know there are very kind and generous. They usually talk to me every now and then so that I won’t feel alone and outcast. Even though I’m feeling something bad growing inside because of what I can’t have, I was able to overcome it by not focusing on that.
In that two months I met a lot of people that made me realized a lot of things. Jhazel and Camille will always be one of the best person I’d met. Even we took our own journeys separately right now, they will still have a very special part in my heart.
3. When I waited outside the restaurant for my friends because my money is just enough for my transportation back home.
This happened when I was in college. In our group I’m the one who usually spend less since I’m a certified thrifty person. So that time when we were about to go home and we just finished our lunch, someone from us wanted to buy something to eat (again).
I can still clearly remember everything that happened that time. It was in SM City Manila (Razon Restaurant) where they planned to buy a drink since they wanted to have a taste of it. Since I already bought my lunch in Mang Inasal (where we had our lunch), I don’t have enough money to buy any drinks anymore.
So in the end, I just waited for them outside the restaurant until they finish buying the drinks. Actually they asked me if I liked it and they’ll just gonna buy it for me, but I’m too shy already to asked for it so I just told them that it’s ok.
I just keep myself busy in my phone even though in reality I don’t have anything to do that time and I just wanted to go home. I feel so pitiful but somehow I learned from it.
After experiencing that, I just go straight at home after our classes and not to join them every time they planned to go somewhere. I will just give them excuses such us doing some project and homework for me not to go with them especially if I know i’m short of budget.
That moment became one of my turning points in my life so I promised to myself that when the time comes that I have the means already, I’ll treat all of my friends to appease myself that I can already do that after all what I’d experienced before.
4. When I fainted many times in my work.
Being hired as soon as I graduated, I never realized how it will turned out. At first I thought that it will be just fine like what I expected but it never turned out that way.
For the first month of my job, it was well and I was able to adapt to it right away. But when it became busy and I need to do double shifts for executive lounge and outside caterings/banquets, that is the start of how I struggle with my health.
My first shift will start usually at 5:00AM–2:00PM and will followed by 9:00PM-2:00AM. This won’t be an issue if it will be once a week but when it became continuous for three straight days (depending on the banquets we received), I don’t have a choice but to do both of those shifts.
I remember not sleeping for two straight days since going from 2:00AM shift will only have an interval of 1 hour free time since our next bus schedule for 5am shifts is 4:15AM. So as soon as I arrived at around 3:00AM, i’ll just take a shower then change my clothes and wait for the next bus.
On the third day of experiencing that, I remember that on that day I need to manage the banquet items and the buffet items in the morning. I was all alone and I feel a little bit dizzy already. I forced myself to work even I still didn’t take any food that time. So when I need to refill one of the salad bar items, I hurriedly went to our chiller to get the items and when I’m about to cut it, I remember looking up since I can’t see anything anymore even my eyes are open. I fell and all I can feel is someone caught me just in time I reached the ground.
As soon as I woke up passed 5:00PM in our hotel clinic, I felt so lightheaded and I can’t even sit on the bed. The nurse were there and checked my blood pressure and right then she told me that my blood pressure is too low and I fainted because of it. As per her, my blood pressure went down to 86/42 when I collapsed, she checked it again when I woke up and it was 90/54. It’s still low so she advised to give me a rest for two days and some medications as well.
This thing happened a couple of times and that made me feel so worried about my health. I started to take Iron supplements and vitamins for me to strengthen my immune system. I also stopped to do double shifts and my company hired lady chefs to avoid the same thing that happened to me.
It was a frightening experienced and I didn’t even share it to my parents since I don’t want them to be worried about me. In the very first place, it was my choice to work overseas so I just think that I need to take full responsibility for it.
Glady this year, I put myself as one of my priorities. I need to have a healthy lifestyle for me to avoid the same thing happened before.
5. When I waited for someone for almost two hours but that person didn’t show up.
This happened when I was in 4th year college. I’d been liking the same person for a long run and regardless of it being one sided love, I just can’t help that time to keep hoping.
It was an on and off feeling but I keep tolerating the whole situation. I didn’t consider that it was all in the past and we were all kids back then. I keep my feelings linger on that thought that “maybe there’s a possibility” and it was really stupid to think of it now.
So that day, we decided to go home together. We scheduled the time, the place and everything was perfect. We’re still cool that time exchanging messages until that time came, I didn’t received any reply and message from him anymore. Like nothing.
I waited there thinking that maybe he was just busy and he’s on the way, but I never realized that i’d been there for a couple of hours already looking lost. I decided to go home feeling empty and I remember I was smiling to myself thinking I’m so stupid to keep hoping and I just need to give up. Once I reached back home, I hurriedly go to my room, open my journal and write all my feelings while crying my heart out.
That time I give up and accept that we are not fated to be together. That I can only keep him as a friend and not more than that. It was painful but thanks to it because I was able to realized my worth.
We met again before our graduation in college and I just found out that I still care. I remember meeting him in front of a chapel and that time I silently prayed,
“If we’re meant to be, may You let it be.”
We spent a lot of time together and he even sent me home although his residence is quite far from us. There’s a lot of sign that I asked to God and it was granted. I thought this is the chance but I never expected that it was indeed a chance for us, but only the last one.
For the nth time of hoping and praying, I met our story’s ending. I came to realized that the time that we spent together is the last wish that God granted for me. He made me experience the thing that I’d been hoping and also made me realized that after that, I need to accept that I can only keep him as a friend and not more than that.
I never imagined that I’ll tolerate a one sided love for so many years, maybe because I’m too sentimental person and I always linger to the things/people that attached to me. It wasn’t a painful experienced but it wasn’t a good one also. This experienced made me stronger than before. It was full of ups and downs but I still survived from it.
6. When I met him.
After experiencing a heartbreak that never really happened in the first place, I accepted the fact that I can’t be with someone else. I was thinking that maybe I’m destined to be alone and nobody will like me back. I still have this interest to someone but the thought that it will be reciprocated is I think impossible.
I just feel like I may gain someone’s interest but it will only stays like that. Like nobody will really make a move since I’m not the ideal one to be with.
Years passed by and I built my goals with only me on it. I just accepted that maybe I’ll take this journey alone. Until one day one person came all of a sudden and change my whole plans to a better one.
I realized a lot of things from him. He change the portrait that I drew and gave me a bigger one for me to used. He made me learned a lot of things and let me understand that there’s a lot of perspectives that we should consider. The one that I’m holding shouldn’t involve only me because God grant us the life to do whatever we want.
We can be what we aim for if we work on it. Don’t let yourself feel like you’re alone because there are some people around you that will make their way to help you. You just need to accept who they are and you can both work on it together regardless of how hard it will be.
It was a big challenge for him to break down my walls but he never give up on me. Without realizing his impact to me, until one day he just looked at me in my eyes and instantly knows that there’s something wrong. Right then I give up on my feelings. That was the first time a person see through the mask that I’d been wearing. The one who instantly knows what I feel and hide.
“She’s not strong at all, she’s a person who just choose to act strong.”
Finally there’s someone who’ll be constant in this temporary world. The one who will choose to understand and accept you without asking “why?”.
In my 22 years living, finally there’s one who will stay and will never let me go.
SUMMARY
There’s a lot of things people had experienced in their lives. From happiness to sadness, anger and laughter, all are the same feeling but differs on how it happened to that specific person.
The scope of our understanding should not be limited on what we just think and believes. From the stories that someone will share and from other own experiences in life, we should learned to understand the whole scenario and the people involve on it.
One’s life story will be your own story if you represent it on how you think it is. Always remember that we think differently from one another and our experiences will always be unique from each other. You can’t use your triumph card that you’d experienced worst than these because that will be your own life story and there’s no room for comparison because we are simply two different person.
Others may compare these life experiences of mine to them and may consider it big thing or petty thing, and that’s ok for me. These precious memories are the ones that keeps me going. You may experience something more serious and tragic but that will be your own experiences that you can use as an inspiration.
The goal of sharing these precious memories of mine is for others to realized that your challenges in life can turn into your own inspiration to pursue what you are aiming for.
Whether it’s a petty thing for others, define your own experiences based on what you believe. If you think nobody will listen because you’re scared that your story will be compared, I’ll listen to you.
Open up to someone who’s a right outlet of your thoughts and feelings. Draw a line from someone who compares their own life to yours.
This world is a very good place to live. You can be whoever you want as long as you work for it. You just need to be wary on what you share because only few will really listen.
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Working employee wherein blogging became my side hobby.
Creator of Living Her Own Life which aims to touch people’s heart and inspire them to achieve their own goals in life.
Writing has been my passion for almost 15 years. Last 2020, I made my very own website where I can share all of my thoughts and stories in life.